Mom's Day Off

When I had my first baby everyone gave the same advice.  Sleep when the baby sleeps.  Of course I did not listen right away.  She fell asleep, I tried to clean the bottles, empty the diaper genie and take a shower.  It didn't take long before I realized that I had to get some rest.  So the house got messier as I took naps or didn't wash clothes or dishes right away.  Then on the weekends when my husband was home, I'd go on a cleaning marathon.  To be honest I kept up that cycle after I returned to work.  I tried to create systems and schedules that would make it all easier or manageable. And sometimes it worked for a while.  But overtime I still became burned out and cranky!

Last year when I decided to leave my job I thought for sure it would be so easy and I'd have lots of time to rest.  Stop laughing.  It didn't take long to find out the truth.  I have plenty to do even without a job.  Again, I made a system and a schedule to get it all done.  And I kept to it.  I really did.  Each day I know which rooms I have to clean, what time I should start dinner and even time to work out.  (ok, I didn't stick to the workout part for long).  It was great.  The house was clean, I was clean, the homework was done.  I had made it. Or had I?

One day at lunch my friend who had been a SAHM for over 18 years asked me "When do take time for yourself?"  I gave the same answer I had given when I was working 50 hours a week.  "Usually after the kids go to bed or on the weekend."  She spent the next 10 minutes explaining to me why I needed to take one day a week for myself.  To sleep, workout, go out with friends, watch tv or what ever else I wanted to do.  

Could I do that though? Was that allowed?  I wanted to do it but I felt really guilty about just relaxing while my husband worked.   So yeah, that was short lived!

I started taking a 'Mom's day off' about two months ago and I love it.  On my day off I just do what ever I want.  I might write, go for a walk, binge some kdramas,  or do some crafting.  Just whatever feeds my soul.  Sometimes I do actually clean or organize, but only if I feel like it.   

I don't feel guilty.  I feel valuable.  I feel loved.  I feel fulfilled.  I feel important.  I can't expect to get that only from my husband and kids.  I need to take responsibility for myself.  I'm so glad I did.  When I start to feel overwhelmed or under-appreciated my day off arrives just in time.  When I think "Oh, I have too much to do this week" I replace that thought with " You have so much to do take time to recharge so you can get it all done".  

I can imagine that if you are a working mom reading this you might be thinking: well, it must be nice.  I get it.  I've only lived this SAHM life for a few months.  I know the fast pace of getting the kids up and out the door by 7:30 to be at work by 8.  The kids waiting for me while I attended meetings or did grades or plans.  Staying until 5 then rushing off to practice or piano.  Splitting cooking with my husband. Staying up late to finish the laundry or clean.  Its a lot.  In that situation if someone told me to take a "mom's day off" I might have laughed in their face.  But it though you might not have 24 hours, you might have 4.  Just 4 hours on the day of your choice that you fill your own cup. Doing what you love and what makes you smile.  

The world sends us the message that not only can we do it all we should do it all.  I don't know what your all is.  I do know that you matter.  At the end of the day you and I are more than our job, mom and wife.  And sometimes, in the busy-ness of life, that woman gets left behind. I wish I could say I take this day every week, but honestly I do miss some weeks.  I try to though.  I'm so glad my friend encouraged me to do it.  So now, here I am asking you, when is your time? Your day off.  You deserve it.  So find a day that you can focus on yourself and fill your cup.